Definitions for Entrepreneurs

Just found the techspeak-to-english dictionary on http://pandodaily.com/2012/09/11/the-techspeak-to-english-dictionary/

Check out the full list on that link, but here are my favourites:

Pivot: Our original idea failed so we had to choose between “pivot” and “serial entrepreneurs.”
Serial Entrepreneur: I’ve failed repeatedly and “multiple pivots” didn’t sound as catchy.

Gamification: We realized our product had no legitimate purpose of any kind so we had to pretend it was a game.

Hacker (1995): I’m on the FBI watch list for breaking into government networks.
Hacker (2012): I took an online course in Ruby.

Innovator: This is just something I call myself so I can feel special.
Pirate: This is what I call myself on days when I need an extra boost of self esteem and “innovator” just isn’t cutting it.
World Changer: This is what I call myself when my self esteem has really hit rock bottom, like when the bitter realization sinks in that it’s been over a year since I’ve had a date.

Mobile Ecosystem: We built an app.
NextGen Web: We built an app.
Integrated User Experience: We built an app AND a website!!

Lean Startup: We have no money.

Non-technical: I have nothing to contribute until after the product launches.
Strategist: I’m also “non-technical,” but for the record I only give orders and refuse to do any actual work even after the product launches.
Visionary: I’m a “Strategist” who’s also a pompous ass.

Total Users: Everyone we’ve ever tricked into landing on our website.
Engaged Users: Did we tell you how many total users we have? We like that number better.

And my favourite one of all…. drum roll…

Minimum Viable Product: Our product is total crap. God bless Eric Ries for giving us an acceptable excuse for launching something so completely shitty.